When Did I Become The Cowardly Lion?

I used to be pretty brave. I’d pretty much do anything and go anywhere-not a problem. The more something scared me, the more I wanted to try it out because I’ve always felt that the best things come from challenging myself and living outside of my comfort zones. However, somewhere along the line, something changed. Somewhere along the line, I’ve become a coward. 

This past week, I was offered an amazing interview, and I knew I had a problem because I was doubting whether I’d be able to accept the job. And the job is pretty amazing. It’s the type of legal work I want to do, on a tropical island. Thankfully, I had people knock some sense into me and in a few days, I will be hopping on a plane to go to that interview.  I never thought that my job search would take me to a tropical island but this could be a life-changing opportunity. In the very least, it will be a mini-vacation to an island. And I was thinking about turning the interview down? And why- because of fear?

They say that recognizing you have a problem is the first step, right?  

This experience has made me notice that I’m living in a pessimistic place right now and I need to work on breaking out of that. I shouldn’t let this economic climate affect me that much. I know that this past year of unemployment and underemployment has taken a real shot to my self-esteem. And this is kind of ridiculous. So much of this year has been dictated by forces outside of my control. I shouldn’t be taking responsibility for the fact that greedy people f-ed things up for everyone, making it impossible to find a decent job. But apparently, I am letting it get to me. Anyhow, I am actively trying to get over this. I need stop being a coward and I need to start believing in myself again. Being on a tropical island should help.

Thank You India

My older brother is one of the only people I know who is still succeeding in this market. And I’m really happy for him. Really, I am. Partly because his company is still hiring! Yes, you didn’t read that wrong, I did say hiring. I figure that tons of lawyers get their first big break from exploiting family connections to get a job-why shouldn’t I exploit my brother’s position at his company to get a job, too? And you know what-it worked! I’m not doing anything glamorous. It’s only a temp position that will get me by while I look for a job, but it’s really nice to have access to a paycheck during the job hunt. And I can work from home. Which is AMAZING. I don’t even care how mind numbingly boring the work is-because I can do it while I catch up on all my favorite TV shows. 

So, thank you brother for interceding at your office and stopping the outsourcing of this particular job to India. Now I don’t have to call one of those signs posted at every corner where you can “work from home and earn $200,000”.